My mom would’ve been 57 years old this day, July 17th, 2012, and I dedicate this EP to her.
You see, when she was here, all five feet and one inch of her, all red hair and freckles of her, all the slight lisp and spunk of her, I didn’t know to treasure her. I didn’t know so much. Come to think of it, I still don’t. Like a lot – don’t.
I didn’t know how [expletive deleted] young 36 years of age was; which was my mom’s age when she died.
I didn’t know how hard it was to be a mom.
I didn’t know that one could love their children so much it causes a physical ache in one’s body and yet, at the same time, how hard it would be to still have the energy to remember one’s own dreams and aspirations at the end of the day.
I didn’t know how hard it would be to find the balance between the ministry of motherhood and the ministry of… being true to oneself.
Does that make sense?
My dear Betsy Garmon has told me over and over again, (and here I’m paraphrasing badly) “You need to find your art/music in the cracks and the crevices and stop bitching and moaning about how you don’t have the time to create like you used to. You should model the creative life for your children now; let them watch you work through it.”
Or something like that.
I’m still trying to work all of this out. I’m still trying to work out how to be a mommy to four boys, and still pursue what’s in my heart to do. I used to think, for the longest time, that I couldn’t do both.
I don’t think that anymore.
So here’s to the cracks and the crevices. Here’s to not just finding the time to create, but making the time, wrestling the time down, wooing the time. Here’s to learning how to balance life well, and not so well, and everything in between, and having grace for oneself in the midst of it all.
After two months of being in the studio, on and off, I am proud to present to you the first of what, I hope, will be a total of 3 EPs. May I introduce The Cracks and the Crevices.
All songs are completely free, for now. There are little stories behind each of these songs. I think, perhaps, I will write about each song specifically over the next month or so. I hope that you enjoy them! If you do, I hope that you share them! At the very least, you should download them while they are free.
DOWNLOAD FOR FREE: The Cracks & the Crevices EP (ZIP file)
PURCHASE ON ITUNES: The Cracks & the Crevices EP (iPhone/iPod enthusiasts)
To sum up?
I made some music I would want to listen to and I hope that you want to listen to it, too.